The purge- Alternate ending
by squidgy78
Summary: Sam was ready to die, to let everything go and he would have let Dean die if he was given the option. It leaves Dean feeling like he may as well die, that he has nothing left to live for. Dean hurt! One shot- Alternate ending to Sam and Deans conversation in The purge. Please read, review and favourite it means a lot! :)


A/N- Hey guys I'm back! So I have not totally deserted my other fanfic, I'm just at a point where I have no idea where I'm going with it. Believe me I will find some inspiration somewhere.

This is just a little one-shot that I thought up after watching the last episode, I feel so bad for Dean! It's an alternate ending to Sam and Deans conversation at the end of the episode. Hope you enjoy!

Dean is sitting alone in the kitchen of the bunker drinking scotch when Sam walks in through the doorway, "I'm hitting it."

"Yeah, hey?", Dean says putting down his glass and looking up at Sam.

"Yeah?", Sam replies looking at Dean inquisitively.

Dean looks down quickly before looking back up, "About what you said the other day…" his voice trailing off at the end.

"I thought it didn't bother you." Sam says this even though his facial expression shows that he knew what Dean was thinking.

"You know, Sam, I saved your hide back there. And I saved your hide at that church... and the hospital. I may not think things all the way through. Okay? But what I do, I do because it's the right thing. I'd do it again."

"And that is the problem. You think you're my savior, my brother, the hero. You swoop in, and even when you mess up, you think what you're doing is worth it because you've convinced yourself you're doing more good than bad... But you're not." Sam argues staring at Dean who stares back his face void of emotion.

"I mean, Kevin's dead, Crowley's in the wind. We're no closer to beating this angel thing.", Sam states.

"I know Sam, I know. I should have been there for Kevin. He trusted me and I wasn't there to save him. I guess he was right, every time he trusted me it always blew up in his face. We _will_ get Gadreel, I will make him pay for what he did to you and Kevin."

Please tell me, what is the upside of me being alive?" Sam demands, ignoring what Dean just said. His face showing that he thinks there isn't a good answer.

"Are you kidding me? You and me, fighting the good fight together", Deans shocked voice answers.

The response isn't good enough for Sam as he goes to leave the kitchen but he turns around and sits across from Dean. Almost like he wants to hear Deans reply to his next statement. "Okay. Just once, be honest with me. You didn't save me for me. You did it for you."

"What are you talking about", Dean demands his face surprised and confused.

"I was ready to die. I was ready. I should have died, but you... You didn't want to be alone, and that's what all this boils down to. You can't stand the thought of being alone."

"All right", Dean pushes back his chair and stands.

"I'll give you this much. You are certainly willing to do the sacrificing as long as you're not the one being hurt."

Dean snorts, "As long as I'm not being hurt, are you kidding me?"

Sam just stares back.

"I went to Hell for you! You weren't ready to die then were you? I rotted on those racks for you just so you could live to see another day. I sliced people up just for you Sammy! And then you know what I did? Huh you remember? I left Lisa and Ben to go with YOU, they were two of the three people who actually cared about me. That third person isn't you God knows I thought it was but that third person is damn sure not you. Family comes first, and they were family to me but you always came before everyone else Sam." Dean finishes yelling.

"I'm sorry that you had to do all of that but you just can't seem to let go of me can you?", Sam says, his bitch face appearing on his face.

"That's your problem Sam, you think it's all about you. What would you have done if I hadn't come back from Hell? Would you have kept searching for me?", Dean retorts.

"At that time of course, I wasn't ready for you to die Dean" Sam starts out strong but says the last part in a quiet voice.

"And Sammy, right now I'm not ready to let you die. I don't think I ever will be, not in this life. We're going to die as old men, together. I'm supposed to protect you Sammy, that was _always_ myjob." Dean whispers, his eyes trained on the floor, not daring to look up and see Sam's face. He silently curses himself for being so touchy feely, the thing that he teases Sam about the most. But he had bottled it all up for too long and Sam needed to hear this.

In a normal voice he says, "All right, you want to be honest? If the situation was reversed and I was dying, you'd do the same thing."

Sam looks down before replying in a soft voice, "No dean I wouldn't." He looks up before finishing, "Same circumstances I wouldn't. I'm going to get to bed."

Dean slowly blinks, his soul rocked to the core, his face shows his feelings of devastation. As Sam is walking away through the doorway he says in a dangerously low voice, "I guess the truth is out then, I may as well just die because you obviously don't care for me at all." The falter in Sam's step is the only indication he heard Dean at all.

"Son of a BITCH!", Dean pounds on the table before sitting back down, his head in his heads, finally letting the tears stream down his face.


End file.
